Daily Newspaper and Travel Guide
for Pecos Country of West Texas

Opinion

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

Sage Views

By Smokey Briggs

Hey, the government
says I'm normal

Well, it looks like I am actually normal. That is kind of scary to me. It may be to you as well.

Ever since I can remember I have taken the Boy Scout motto of, "Be prepared," very seriously.

Except for some ribbing from friends and a few less-than-complimentary comments from non-friends, being as prepared as possible in all aspects of life has stood me in good stead.

Since I was six I have carried a pocketknife, or two, with me every day of my life. (I'm glad I did not grow up in the modern eek-it's-a-knife-and-I'm-a-moron era of school safety). The pocketknife is the first element in preparedness for life.

Since the time of its invention I have supplemented the pocketknife with a Leatherman tool that includes a dandy set of pliers. With a pair of pliers and a good pocketknife there are few situations in life that will find you lacking.

I carry water and an extra jacket in my truck, and jumper cables, and a 12V air compressor, and a few tools, .... the list goes on.

In the course of life I've used darned near everything on the list at least once.

Being prepared pays off - in school, at work, on the road, at home.

She-who-must-be-obeyed does not even blink these days as I make preparations for being hit by tornadoes and earthquakes.

Early in our marriage it was occasionally a point of contention when I wanted to buy an extra 5-gallon Blitz can to store a little extra gas in rather than new shrubs for the rent-a-hovel that housed us at the time.

Once during a seminar on Constitutional Law a classmate and I got into a rather heated discussion regarding the underlying philosophy of the Constitution.

At the end of the exchange our learned professor remarked that I was probably one of those guys that kept a rifle and a year's supply of Spam under the house.

I replied that actually it was just a rifle and plenty of salt since most of my neighbors were pretty fat.

The good professor never looked at me the same after that.

And this makes me normal, right?

Well, apparently so.

Our good government has recently released a personal preparedness plan for federal employees instructing them to do what I have been doing since I can remember - be prepared in case of an emergency.

The guide can be found on the Internet at www.opm.gov/emergency.

There is all kinds of advice in the guide such as keeping a three-day supply of water on hand, and the same of food along with a first aid kit, flashlight and a sleeping bag.

The guide also recommends that family members pick a meeting place in case of emergency and a second place in case the first one is the new home of nuclear powered bugs.

Mostly the list is a condensed rewrite of every survivalist list printed since the first nuclear war scare of the early 50s - without any of the politically incorrect stuff included like taking along your trusty Winchester to deal with those who never bothered to prepare for the worst but would not mind helping themselves to your family's stuff, or your family for that matter.

They even include instructions on boiling water to purify it, but do not bother with the simpler method of adding a bit of bleach.

That the list was written for and by the soccer mom crowd is fairly evident since it does not even use the word knife in the suggested things to be packed in the emergency kit, but does mention "cutters."

Is cutters the new politically correct word for knife?

Actually, it is sad that these instructions are as good as our government can, or is willing, to do.

Maybe having a flashlight and a pair of non-pointed scissors meets the definition of prepared for the Washington D.C. crowd.

Personally I find the list lacking.

But, at least I am no longer classified as a nut. Now, I am simply following my government's implied-if-not-written guidelines when I'm burying rifles and food in the backyard.

Now, I'm normal.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Smokey Briggs is the editor and publisher of the Pecos Enterprise whose column appears on Tuesdays. He can be e-mailed at: smokey@pecos.net

Our View

What will you think of our soldiers next month?

Following is Rudyard Kipling's poem titled "Tommy." We are printing it by popular request after the poem was mentioned in a column two weeks ago. The poem is written from the viewpoint of a British enlisted man at the turn of the 19th century and points out the public's fickle regard for soldiers in peace and war. Too often the American public is guilty of the same attitude as the English public Tommy addresses. In wartime all servicemen are heroes. But, a week after the war is over, other issues occupy our thoughts and our military takes a distant backseat to other issues in our hearts and in our politics. And so, instead of forcing our politicians to make decisions that have our servicemen's best interests at heart, we allow the service's to be choked to death in peacetime with social engineering projects and scant training budgets.

Tommy

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,

The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."

The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,

I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:

O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";

But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,

The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,

O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,

They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;

They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,

But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";

But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,

The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,

O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;

An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit

Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"

But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,

The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,

O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,

But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;

An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,

Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",

But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,

There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,

O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:

We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.

Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face

The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"

But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;

An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;

An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool you bet that Tommy sees!

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Pecos Enterprise
York M. "Smokey" Briggs, Publisher
Division of Buckner News Alliance, Inc.
324 S. Cedar St., Pecos, TX 79772
Phone 915-445-5475, FAX 915-445-4321
e-mail news@pecos.net

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