Weekly Newspaper and Travel Guide for Ward County Trans Pecos, Big Bend of West Texas

Opinion

Dec. 17, 1998

Perfect Christmas gift

Well, I take that back. It's not perfect, at least not in the sense I'm implying. True, it's free, but it comes at the price of your pride. And yes, it feels wonderful to bestow, but the recipient could quite conceivably throw it back in your face.

The gift in question?

Forgiveness.

All of us, at some point in time, have been tremendously hurt by another. That's to be expected; that's part of life. But people react to that pain in different ways, and some don't ever let go. Why? Maybe it's as James Baldwin says: "...people cling to their hates so stubbornly...because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain."

It's true. If you're going to forgive someone, you have to sit down and think about exactly what you're forgiving. There's no such thing (at least not in my experience) as generic forgiveness. And make no mistake-- this detailed recollection is not a fun thing. It hurts to even think about the wrong done to you, especially if the wound is still fresh.

But you have to, because forgiveness is a voluntary act. You can't just shove your pain under the rug and hope it goes away or somehow manages to heal itself. It won't-- you have to take it head-on or it turns into something worse.
I have a friend who actually refuses to forgive those who've hurt him. He says they don't deserve it. One is tempted to remind him of that mildly terrifying Bible passage on how we're forgiven our sins by the same measure that we've forgiven others.

Did I mention how miserable this friend of mine is a large majority of the time?

I have a theory on this. I think that if you don't forgive people, it actually damages you more than it does them, and a lot more than that original offense ever could... only this time the pain is self-inflicted. Unless you're some sort of masochist, this is not a good thing.

I know from personal experience that letting go of that carefully nursed grudge is nothing short of pure bliss. Suddenly there's a weight lifted off your shoulders-- the sun is shining! Birds are singing! And the world is a beautiful place again.

So this holiday season, while you're dutifully making that list of new year resolutions, consider letting go of old resentments. Give that certain estranged someone a call-- just try to rebuild the burnt bridges. You can start with a simple hello.

You might think like my friend, and say that they don't deserve it... but even if they don't, you do. You need to spring clean your heart if you're going to grow as a person; and because I've been there, I can with all surety tell you you'll feel light as a feather afterwards. Some of your childlike trust in life will be restored... just consider it a gift to yourself.

And that's what I meant when I said it was perfect.

Fight game's eyes black enough

Boxing, with its violent nature and seedy underbellies, never has threatened to usurp baseball status as the national pastime. It has, however, enjoyed periods of great prosperity and mass popularity: the television heyday of the 1950's; the ACI - Frazier - Foreman - Norton era of the '70's ; the rivalry of Leonard Duran, Hearns, and Hagler of the '80's, and Mike Tyson's power-punching peak of '86 through '89. That's why it's so sad to see the sport in its current condition.

The sports premier attraction, Tyson, is a convicted rapist. Two of the most marketable attractions are Christy Martin, a women who fights on Don "the thug" King's undercards, and Butterbean Esch, a bald 300 pound former Tough Man Contest Star who fights ever worse than he diets.

A decade ago, boxing was governed by an alphabet soup consisting of the WBA, WBC, and IBF. Today the soup has gone to nuts, with the WBO, WBU, IBO, and IBC having joined the mix.

Fans can't get excited over, say, the Lightweight Champion because they don't know who he is. Often the best two boxers in a division never meet because neither wants to risk losing the purses and prestige that a title belt - albeit a cheapened one brings. For example: in the 30 years that the featherweight title has been divided, none of its reigning champions have ever squared off.

The truly regrettable part about all this is that boxing's down fall didn't occur overnight. These alarms have been screeching for years. Too bad an industry that never could see beyond its next paycheck, or pay for view price gouge or freak show promotion is just holding its gloves over its ears, pretending it didn't hear.

Gratitude comes in all sizes

Up until about a month ago I pretty much took that for
granted. I don't even remember the first time I learned to
tie my shoes so I guess I must have been pretty young.
But I will always remember the second time. It was only a
few days ago. Up until I broke my wrist Nov. 7, I pretty
much took my left hand for granted. After all, I was right
handed. What did I need a left hand for? Tying shoes for one
thing. Also opening cans, cutting vegetables and especially
typing. Typing with one hand is terrible.

And driving - boy did I ever take that for granted. Now,
every time I want to go somewhere, I have to decide if I
really want to ask my husband to take me. You see, he
already takes me to and from work, to church, to the grocery
store, the doctor and anywhere else I need to go. Left on my
own I probably would attempt driving with one hand, but I
have been strictly forbidden by my doctor in the presence of
my husband.

That brings me back to the subject of tying shoes. I found I
also needed my left hand for that and so for the past three
weeks, my husband tied my shoes. If they came loose at work,
I had to find a willing co-worker to help out. But finally
all the swelling went out of my hand, my fingers loosened up
and began to regain a little strength and lo and behold I
can tie my shoes. I'm on my way to being an independent
woman again!

And speaking of taking things for granted, what a surprise
when the lights didn't come on as usual Friday morning. We
all expect an occasional blink now and then but Friday was
no blink. It was a total crash. I stumbled around in the
dark, looking for those candles I knew I had somewhere.

Finally I found some scented ones and we had a little light.
I remember a few years back when electrical outages were
frequent enough, we used to always have candles and matches
handy but Kevin and crew have spoiled us. Thanks guys, for a
job well done, not just Friday but always.