Daily Newspaper and Tourism Guide for Reeves County Trans Pecos, Big Bend of West Texas

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Opinion

October 30, 1997

Letter from the Editor

The phone rang in the office late Tuesday afternoon, and now that
I think about it, it was a particularly angry ring. I answered
anyway.

"Hello, Steve, this is Dick Hoyer."

"Well, hello Mayor! What can I..."

"Steve, I just got wind about your little project over there
about publishing a special section about me, or something."

"That was supposed to be a secret, Dick. Who spilled the beans?"

"Well, somebody who knows the way I feel about these things.
Now, Steve, I don't want you to print that thing. The good people
of Monahans are sick and tired of reading about Dick Hoyer. My
gosh! We had that beautiful reception Sunday with so many good
friends and...well, everything that could be said was said. Enough
is enough, I say. Now tell me you'll just put that special section
away and that you won't print it."

"But, Mister Mayor, I... uh (gulp) I can't possibly..."

"Yes you can, Steve. And you'll do it. There are a lot of good
people in Monahans who have done more... so much more... than I
have for this town. I'm proud of my accomplishments, but by golly,
enough is enough! I really don't want any more publicity, do you
know what I mean? Find something else to print, maybe a nice
section about the Sandhills, but promise me you will not print
anything else about me."

"Okay, Mister Mayor. I promise."

"Thank you, Steve. Good-bye."

Our readers will find our fond farewell section to Dick and Joan
Hoyer inside today's paper. I know I broke a promise, but what the
heck? The guy's leaving town.
***
NOTE TO PUBLISHER FROM MARKETING DEPARTMENT: Dick Hoyer Special
Section expected to sell more than Princess Di Royal Wedding
edition. Extra newsprint being shipped by rail and truck. Prepare
an overtime schedule for workers. And find way to publish Dick
Hoyer poster in English, Spanish, Polish and Chinese. This guy is
hot, hot hot! Now get moving!
***

Gadzooks! Brothers and Sisters I'm here to tell you that what I
saw Tuesday night under my kitchen sink could only be compared to
the visions those poor souls shared as they slipped into the
briney depths aboard the the Titanic.
It was the mother of all water leaks! It was a situation which,
as it developed, quickly became obvious could not be repaired with
a pair of vise-grips.
Oh! Don't think I can't hear those smug pipefitters and
boilermakers out there among our readers who are mumbling, "Well,
you moron, why didn't you just shut off the valve?"
I didn't shut off the valve because IT MUST HAVE BEEN WELDED IN
PLACE IN 1922!
Oh, yes. I also hear those know-it-all handymen who are
chuckling, "Why didn't you just shut off the main water valve,
knucklehead?"
It's a rent house where water meters are "somewher over there"
and my flashlight was nowhere to be found. All three of my sons
swore they had not seen my flashlights since the last time they
played Deathray 2000.
Finally, I found out the City of Monahans offers emergency
shut-off service. As I write this, I think the situation may be
under control. However, if Judge Sam "Rainless" Massey needs a new
stock tank, my kitchen floor is available.
***
At 4 p.m. today, Thursday, in the Ward County Courthouse there
will be a meeting concerning the hospital. Now is the time for all
concerned citizens to step forward and present their questions and
views. If you don't show up, don't complain about what happens.
Please remember, if a good crowd shows up, the meeting will be
moved to the Community Center.
***
I need a second opinion on the Freeze Watch. Please call 943-4313.

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