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Mar. 13, 1997

Monahan's Well

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By Jerry Curry

By the time you read this, himself, Jimmy Scott, the Sports Voice of
Lobo Radio, station KLBO, Monahans, will be winging his way across the
seas. He'll be visiting Scotland and other places. Guess where he'll be
on The Day.
He'll be in a country as green and beautiful and sweet and as Celt as
Scotland or Wales. That's a clue, lads. That's a clue. He'll be in the
land of poetry and music and gentle rains where the winds never blow
more than 85 miles an hour in the Spring squalls off the Atlantic across
the Aryan Isles and the ghosts of the monks still walk. Those are more
clues, lasses.
This, lads and lasses, is the land of the kindest people on the face of
the planet. All, or most all, live by the Christian dictum that they
will always, always, turn the other cheek when they are assaulted by the
hand of human, government or faerie. They'll do this because they know
the human, government or faeire so misguided as to strike them surely
needs the advantage of a second strike. And after the cheek is struck
the second time, these good Christian people will proceed to resolve the
issue at hand with as little fuss as possible.
"Sure 'an it's the same old shillelagh me father brought from . . .
. . .an no man could take him when he had it in his hand."
Shillelagh? Shillelagh? What's a shillelagh, you ask. Oh, the ignorance
of it all. It's such questions and such ignorance that led to the
majority of the people in the United States re-electing a president who
would be better placed in the Ward County Jail, the section reserved for
federal prisoners. Shillelagh, you ask. Let me enlighten you a smidgen.
A shillelagh is an arm-long, wrist thick splinter of well-seasoned
blackthorn, sometimes oak. When you see the shillelagh, it is best not
to strike its bearer a second time.
Those are more clues about the location of Lobo Voice Jim Scott on St.
Padraic's Day.
Think now.
As a citizen of a city founded on an Irisher's thirst, where would you
be if you really had a choice? As a citizen of a city more or less
founded when Johnny Tom Monahan found the only crystal clear, sparkling,
clean, good-tasting water in the whole of the Great State of Texas,
where would you be on The Day?
You are absolutely correct.
Jim Scott, himself, will be in Ireland.
And where else would a Celt be, if he had a choice, except in Ireland on
St. Padraic's Day?
(Before all you Anglophiles out there begin to sputter and scream, let
me tell you this, the aforementioned spelling of Padraic is Padraic. It
is not some Anglicized doggerel that comes out Patrick. You spell it in
the Irish, especially on The Day, St. Padraic's Day, March 17, on Monday
in a town founded by an Irisher and where, at least to our knowledge,
nothing special is planned for this day and that may be why Jimmy Scott,
Celt that he is, must take to the skies on titanium wings to be where
all Celts want to be on The Day.)
Himself then will be in Ireland on St. Padraic's Day.
And there might, just might, be a surprise for all of Monahans on that
day, especially for Lobo Radio owner Harold Callaway.
Magic happens on St. Padraic's Day especially in a town where the high
school's colors are green, in a town more or less founded by an
Irisher's thirst.

Letter from the Editor

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Connie Bean, also known as
"The Man with the Big Hat",
appeared at a recent luncheon
meeting in his official capacity
as Director of Transportation
for the MWPISD.
Connie is the man who paces
up and down the sidelines
during Lobo football games
wearing the same grim express-

ion as Tom Landry. The simi
larity with Landry ends when it
comes to hats. Landry, you
may remember, was never
without his tasteful, city-dude
Connie, on the other hand,
wears a hat that is larger than
some Latin American countries.
There could be an overthrow of
the government take place
under Connie's hat and we
wouldn't know it until we read
about it in the paper.
Connie Bean's Western
headgear is one of those rare
hats which make children
scream, women weep and starts
fights in church.
But once I got past Connie's
hat, I was able to appreciate his
message about the school bus
drivers of our district and the
important work they perform.
Connie is proud - and rightfu-
lly so - of the record his driv
ers have racked up in the
regional and state School Bus
Safety Road-E-Os. Since 1983,
MWPISD has place 51 bus
drivers in the Top 10 for this
region. It has sent 24 drivers to
the state competition and has
sent one driver to national
competition twice.
Our school buses transport
969 students every day. The
department has a budget this
year of $304,550 with which to
operate 53 vehicles requiring a
staff of 25, 12 of whom are
bus drivers.
Bus drivers are required by
the Texas Education Agency to
periodically take a count of the
students on their buses. They
are also required to keep a
detailed route map on which
they record every mile covered
and every turn made. If they
are off by as much as one mile
on their figuring, the school
district can lose state funds.
The department logged a total
of 322,249 miles last year,
190,975 of which were due to
extracurricular activities.
Because some of our neighbor
ing districts are too scared to
play the Loboes football team
under its new 3-A status, we
were forced to drive as far as
Mountain View for games.
"Everyone in Monahans
should see Mountain View...
once!" dead-panned Bean.
Hats off to Connie Bean and
his crew over at the bus barn
for a job well done.
(I really mean it, Connie.
Hats off! Here, let me help



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The goodIrishman Mike O'Mally was
walking home through the
green woods one afternoon
when he spied a wee lepre-

chaun hiding in a hollow log.
"I've got you," shouted Mike
as he picked the little man up.
"Please let me go, Mike
O'Mally, I'm in a big hurry and
I've got some important busi
"Oh no you don't," said Mike,
"I knows me stuff, I do.
Whenever an Irishman captures
a leprechaun, he is granted
three wishes."
"Very well... but please be
quick with it Mike. What are
your three wishes?"
Of course, being an Irishman,
Mike's first wish was for a
bottle of fine whisky. Poof!
There in his hand was a bottle
of the expensive stuff.
"All this wishin' has given me
a powerful thirst," said Mike as
he put the bottle to his lips to
take a long pull.
Growing impatient, the lepre-

chaun implored, "Now hurry,
Mike, what are your other two
Mike stared at the bottle as
he thought and noticed that the
bottle was still amazingly full.
"Hello! What is this?" he
"I've given you a bottomless
bottle," said the little man.
"Wellll!" said Mike, "in that
case, I'll just wish me a couple
of more of these."
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Copyright 1997 by Ward Newspapers, Inc.
107 W. Second St., Monahans TX 79756
Phone 915-943-4313, FAX 915-943-4314

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