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I've been approached by several parents on what topics to write about
in my columns and most of them have to deal with chidren or teenagers. I
don't know that much about children, it's a subject that you learn about
as they grow.
And as for teenagers, does anybody really know a teenager? Does anybody
know what they're really thinking or what they're going to do next? No,
I think not.
They're a breed of their own and each one has a personality on their
own. No two are totally alike and no two think alike.
Still, as parents we all try to understand our own child and to deal
with their daily problems.
An incident that occurred recently had one concerned parent wondering
why some teenagers are so afraid of their parents. Sure, sometimes
instilling fear in them will keep them out of trouble (or so we think).
But does this really?
Does it not spur them to hide things from their parents? Does it not
want them to lie? For fear of getting into more trouble by confiding in
them, they try to cover up their own mistakes instead of dealing with
them.
Sometimes it does. Parents should be there for their children, through
thick and thin. It does not mean they should cover up for them. But
we're all human and we're all prone to make mistakes sometimes. (Some
more than others, I should know!)
During this certain incident that happened recently, some teenagers
were afraid to go home and let their parents know what had happened,
even though parents usually find out about all that has transpired.
Trust me, nothing can be hidden forever!
Teenagers especially, who are at a crucial period in their lives,
should learn how to communicate with their parents, to confide in them
and trust them to help them through everything. Or should I say parents
should learn how to talk to their children, something all of us have
problems with.
Parents of course, aren't super human. They can't solve all the
problems of the world. But certainly confiding in them will help ease
the troubles, at least a little.
A story in Dear Abby recently outlined the tragedy which occurred to
one such teen. For fear of confiding in her parents that she was
pregnant, she had the baby in a friend's bathroom and then strangled it
and disposed of it.
The story goes on to say that this certain teenager did not come from a
broken home, a low-income family or a bad family atmosphere. She was an
honor student and active in sports. Yet, she didn't know how to confide
in her parents.
To admit that she had somehow gotten into trouble was too much for her.
Instead, she tried to deal with the situation herself. Only to make
matters worse.
None of us are experts in child rearing. But all of us share the same
concern. To do what is best in the interest of our children!
Rosie Flores is an Enterprise writer and editor of Lifestyles and Golden
Years. Her column appears each Thursday.
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