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Weekly Newspaper and Tourism Guide for Ward County Trans Pecos, Big Bend of West Texas


Monahans' Well

By Jerome Curry
Monahans, May 7, 1998 - By the time you read this, I'll be
in Missouri saying hello to the Mississippi and Missouri
Rivers, making snide comments about the community and asking
people to build a fire because it's so darn cold.

By the time you read this, I'll be telling lies with the
in-laws and saying I have never seen such a puny little
crappie as the 28-pound one Jess and Todd just caught. I'll
be asking why they don't throw that little feller back like
we'd do down in Ward County.

By the time you read this, I'll be shaking chiggers off my
mustache and wondering about the strange places in which
ticks can find to hide.

By the time you read this, I will have eaten enough
home-killed meat and homegrown vegetables to last me until

By the time you read this, I'll be well into my vacation -
the first in the about two years since I came back home to

Don't start celebrating. I'm coming back. Ever since the
missus got the grass to grow in the front yard on South Gary
Avenue, we have made a commitment that shall not be broken.
Grass in the desert will do that to anyone. As most of you
know, we grow grass.

Next week, there will be no column. For one week, Monahan's
Well will run dry. There will be no acrid, but wildly
amusing, commentary about the passing of life here in Ward

By the time I return, it is distinctly possible Richard
Acosta of The Monahans News will have gained some kind of
renown for his story on The Wandering Woodcock of Ward
County. The day before I left some very excited people were
talking to him about the bird.

We are coming back because we know it is going to rain in
Ward County again.

Still, I often wonder if it could possibly be true that, as
next door neighbor Nancy reports, that the Washington
bureaucrats have had a large clear geodesic dome built over
Ward County so that no rain may fall unless the Washington
bureaucrats think it is okay.

Nancy says the dome is allowed to open only in the Autumn
and a couple of times during the Winter so that our average
rainfall never exceeds a dozen inches. She says this giant
plastic dome over Ward County is the reason why we keep
seeing dark rain clouds but no rain although really tough
things - like meteorites - will smash their way through the
plastic from time to time as it did in March.

Actually we do not believe that the Washington bureaucrats
are responsible for our lack of rain. We do not believe that
for a minute. We believe there is a vast Left Wing
Conspiracy to deny us rain, a conspiracy hatched, not in
Washington, but in Austin.

So we are on vacation.

And this I promise, we will bring you all some rain back
from Missouri's Ozarks. The folks there won't even notice
the loss.

The Agent's Nightmare

Verse by Ward County Judge Sam G. Massey
Written shortly after awakening

The Agent droned on
As she stood all alone;
Her subject, important, but dull

She spoke of the saving
And began her flag waving
For her customers to sit there and mull

It was just after noon
As she started her tune,
Quoting figures and numbers arrant

The room was so warm
As she preached us a storm,
The Commissioners Court had worked till they can't

Remember what they had done
Since they'd returned about one
Which is nap time for most of this pride

Clerk Finley went first,
Quietly, without a burst
Her head eased down to one side

Commissioner Hunt's leg did sprawl
Almost reaching the wall
And his arm pushed over his desk

Commissioner Florez's head dropped
As his eyelids did pop
And his lower lip dropped like the rest

Treasurer Berry dozed off
Eyes not resisting the soft
Mellow tone that the peddler did keep

Commissioner Welch was awake
But his eyes dropped; for God's sake,
The whole room was going to sleep..

Then the peace was disrupt
By a roar and a sup
From the rear of the gallery seats.

The insurance lady was aghast
As she endured this blast
That rattled picture frame, flag and the seats

A series of snorts, snores and lops,
Mrs. Finley's head pops
Up straight, quickly and neat

From his seat, Commissioner Hunt poured
As he slipped to the floor,
Wiping the drool from the side of his cheek

Whip lash jerked his neck
As Commissioner Florez's nap wrecked
As he jerked and sat straight in his chair.

Treasurer Berry was scared.
She'd heard something weird,
So she scrowled toward the back, over there.

Another series of snores
Then did come forth
As his mustache rippled with glee.

Local news hound Allen Martin
was just a startin'
To enjoy his sleep of reprieve.

When he woke the whole room
As with snores that exhume
The dead from their graves, don't deceive

So the nap session did end
For the Court and their friends
With a welcome end to the speech

The poor insurance lady folded her paper,
Said I'll talk to you later.
I'd suggest after nap time is reached.

No harm, no foul

Monahans, May 7, 1998 - There are those who would contend
that the Monahans News violated election laws the past few
weeks by running a series of ads from Midland Memorial
Hospital regarding the hospital referendum election without
a disclaimer. The disclaimer notes it is a paid political
ad, and who it was paid by.

At the outset, in reference to a statement at a public
meeting about there being a conspiracy to pass the election,
we noted on this page that the series of ads had already
been scheduled. Then when the firm that had planned to
buy/lease the hospital withdrew its offer, the election that
had been called became, in effect, a non-election but it had
already been called and there was no way the election could
be cancelled. In the end, the measure was defeated but that
has no effect on what the hospital board plans to do nor the
agenda set forth by the county for the hospital.

We didn't feel, since it became a nonpolitical issue, that
there was any need to have the disclaimer, particularly
since it was over an issue and not a race involving
individuals and the advertisements clearly stated who they
were from. The object of Midland Memorial has also been long
known, clearly stated even before the election was called.

Technically, the disclaimer probably should have been
included but we don't believe there was any misleading
information on who the ads were from or what they were

It's a very grey area but we feel we have done everything
necessary to comply with the law.

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Copyright 1998 by Ward Newspapers, Inc.
Mac McKinnon, Publisher
107 W. Second St., Monahans TX 79756
Phone 915-943-4313, FAX 915-943-4314

Associated Press text, photo, graphic, audio and/or video material shall not be published, broadcast, rewritten for broadcast or publication or redistributed directly or indirectly in any medium.

Copyright 1998 by Ward Newspapers Inc.